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  • Writer's picturefabmolly

Plot Twist! Change your inner critic to become happier, healthier and more fabulous using C.A.L.M.


Curious, Acceptance, Loving compassion, Motivation. Use this anagram to change your self limiting beliefs and inner critic which will in turn change your happiness.

Sometimes we criticize ourselves for thoughts and feelings we believe are unacceptable when we experience adversity. For instance, a chronically ill person might feel angry about their situation, and then criticize themselves for feeling anger. It's like being punched twice - once when we feel angry, and then again when we criticize ourselves for feeling angry. Suddenly we are caught in a downward spiral of negativity and self criticism.


C.A.L.M., developed by Gregg Henriques Ph.D., is a method people can use to alter their negative reactions to difficult feelings. It allows people to be in contact with their feelings, observing them, but not being overwhelmed by them.

C stands for CURIOUS - What difficult feeling am I experiencing right now? Where did this feeling come from? What are the thoughts I'm thinking that might be related to this feeling?


A stands for ACCEPTANCE - This means you accept your difficult thoughts and feelings WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. You don't try to suppress or control the hard stuff as this just results in more suffering. The goal is to just "be" with the pain and accept it.


L stands for LOVING COMPASSION for yourself and others. You are worthy of respect - so give it to yourself as you would give respect and compassion to others facing adversity.


M stands for MOTIVATION towards responding to hard situations in a way that brings you closer to your values and goals in life.


If you can be CURIOUS about and ACCEPT your painful thoughts and feelings, show LOVING compassion to yourself and others, you will be able to slow down and tap into the MOTIVATION that helps you respond to adversity in a way that is more closely aligned with the person you want to be.


Learn more about how you can help improve your mindset by checking out Denver StepFamily Therapy. Their Facebook page is full of all sorts of interesting articles and helpful content. They are located in Denver, Colorado and are fabulous.

I invite you to click over to my Facebook page FabMolly and tell me how you have used C.A.L.M. in your life and how it has changed your happiness. Remember: Be C.A.L.M. and Be Fabulous! FabMolly

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